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When a Christian husband and wife establish a home, it should be a Christian home. But
what does that involve and how can this noble objective be achieved? These questions and more will
hopefully be answered in this lesson. From the "idealistic" viewpoint, the Christian home is a place
where everyone in the family is endeavoring to live by the standards and teachings of Jesus Christ.
Deep within our hearts we know that we should strive daily to make this desired objective as much
a reality as possible. It will not happen overnight and perhaps not in a life time, but hopefully we will
be a great deal closer a year from now than we are today. From the "realistic" viewpoint, we will
probably admit that we have not yet achieved the ideal. Our reality is where we are today; yet
hopefully, we are reaching for the ideal and working toward it with each passing day.
Let us take a few moments to look honestly into our hearts and admit, at least to God, where
we are. We are sinners! We make mistakes with the passing of each day. Tempers are lost, words
are spoken, and things are done that fill us with remorse and regret. The husband forgot his duty to
promote love, or the wife failed to be as submissive as she should. The disagreement got out of hand
and became a bitter argument. The children did not do what they were told and so you yelled. Have
all or most of these things happened to you recently? Probably most of us will silently pray in our
hearts, God forgive me for I have been guilty of such deeds. What are we to do? Are we to spend all
our time in shame and disappointment or learn from our mistakes and move on to rise above them
by the grace of God? We must realize that we are sinners, saved by the grace of God. We are not
perfect yet, but we are to strive for it. In Hebrews 6:1, we are told to "go on unto perfection." When
we make a mistake, acknowledge it to those in our household and pray to God for forgiveness and
strength to overcome the fault and rise above the sin. It is much like archery, we aim for the "bulls
eye" but if we miss the mark, we take another arrow and try again to hit the mark. Sin is to miss the
mark that God has set for us, but we are to keep aiming at the perfect mark.
The difference between the Christian home and others, is that though sinners live in all
homes, Christians are to be trying to do right. They confess their sins and then look for Biblical
solutions to their problems. God gave the Bible for this purpose according to II Timothy 3:16. Paul
tells us that "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof,
for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly
furnished unto all good works." It teaches us God's doctrine, it tells us when we do wrong and then
tells us how to correct the problem and finally tells us the good works that will honor God and bless
our lives and homes. Therefore, we must not allow Satan to defeat us in our hearts and minds by
causing us to despair and give up on having a Christian home, instead we must seek grace to make
the "real" become more and more the "ideal." We will now consider three things that will help us
achieve this goal.
A Christ-Centered Home
For a home to be Christ-centered, everything must revolve around Him. He must be the hub
around which all our activities revolve. In ancient Israel, their camp was pitched around the
Tabernacle. Their religion was the center of their society. Even so, Christ must become the center
of our homes. That means we seek Him and His kingdom first as taught in Matthew 6:33. Jesus said,
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto
you." We must come to trust the Lord and His gracious provision enough to give Him preeminence
in our lives and homes. Church services are scheduled on the "first" day of the week, Sunday. So as
the week begins, we are to put the Lord and His worship first. Then we give at church, not knowing
what bills may come during the days before payday. But we give because we trust that He will enable
us to pay our debts. We should also put His will ahead of our own. He taught us to pray, "Thy
kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10). When we are willing
to follow Christ, to live by His words, to give by faith and to serve and worship Him on Sunday; then
we begin to experience the many blessings of a Christ centered home. When our lives are
Christ-centered, then our homes can become Christ-centered. Let us begin by putting Jesus first in
our hearts and lives, then we will strive more to develop a home where Christ is at the center of all
its activities.
Family Devotions
Not everyone in the home may desire it to be a Christian home. If that is the case, then those
who do have such a desire, may find it difficult to achieve this objective. However, if the husband
will lead in the matter, hopefully the wife will submit. If the husband does not live up to his duty as
spiritual "head" of the family, it will then fall upon the wife to promote these home devotionals.
Frankly, if neither the husband or wife takes the responsibility, it is very unlikely that the children
will do it on their own.
A home devotional can be the source of many blessings. It should consist of both Bible
reading and prayer, at the very least. If time permits, there should be discussion about the meaning
of the passage and prayer for their understanding. At the outset of this study, we recognized that we
are all sinners. By reading the Bible children and adults alike, come face to face with their besetting
sins and also find solutions to the problems they may be facing. How will you solve your problems?
Sometimes the problems are of such a magnitude, that they are literally tearing the family apart. How
can these devastating problems be identified and corrected? You could ask the advice of friends or
family members, but their answer may not be based on scriptural solutions, therefore to follow their
advice may mean that you worsen the problems. That will not be the case when you follow the
teachings of the Bible. By reading the Bible and applying its teachings, you will be on the right
course to things getting better.
In addition to the teachings of the Bible, add prayer and you will have an even stronger force
at work in your home. We sometimes make the mistake of trying to do things on our own. When we
exclude God, we deprive ourselves of the greatest help available to us. By looking to the Lord in
prayer and asking His assistance, we gain inner strength to help us gain the victory. The psalmist
said, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." (Psalms 46:1). He is always
accessible to us so that help is available. We need to notice that the promise is for "help." He will
help or assist us in our troubles. He has not promised to do everything for us, but to assist us as we
do our best. When we are trying to do what He teaches, then He will bridge the gap between our
ability and our need. Paul found that he could rely upon the Lord. He said, "I can do all things
through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). Always remember that without Him you
“can do nothing” (John 15:5). The Christian home needs a strong devotional life of Bible reading
and prayer, so begin soon to cultivate this beneficial program.
Communications
The Christian home not only needs communication between God and the family involved,
but also between those who make up the family. In the previous section, we looked at our
communication with God. He speaks to us through His Holy Word and allows us to speak to Him
through the avenue of prayer. Even so, the channels of communication are to be opened between the
people involved in the home. It is difficult, if not impossible, to estimate the value or worth of open
channels of communication. People often have great difficulties when they allow their words and
feelings to be held inside. The longer they fail to communicate, the more difficult it is to open the
avenues of communication again.
God gave us a voice and we are to use our mouths to talk to one another. He does not need
us to use our mouths to talk to Him, He always knows what is in our hearts. The problem is that
people cannot read minds and know what we are feeling. If they are to know, we must talk to them
and that is communication. People are often quick to explode in violent and abusive verbal attacks.
Such verbalization is usually unproductive. In such verbal attacks, feelings are hurt and the problem
is worsened. However, when we take the time to calmly and patiently communicate our hurt,
disappointment or expectations, then we begin to share the problem and take a constructive step
towards it solution. When husbands and wives talk through their problems, they are more likely to
discover the solutions together and they are drawn closer by the shared experience. Even when they
do not agree, they at least discover common ground and areas where they may be able to
compromise. We cannot have our way all the time. In the home, others are involved and fairness
dictates that they too are to be considered. When people talk they can better understand each other's
views, cooperation will likely follow and solutions will be discovered.
Not only is communications necessary between a husband and wife, but between parents and
children. Take time to explain to your children why you feel as you do. Tell them why they cannot
do what they want to or why they must do what they do not want to do. Parents also need to give
children, especially older children, the opportunity of expressing their feelings and needs. It will
probably help them develop fewer resentments and feel more respected as a person.
The conclusion of the whole matter is this: utilize the principles set forth in this lesson and
you will begin the rewarding journey toward experiencing the blessings and benefits of a Christian
home. No one said it would be easy, but anything of worth is expected to have a price. The greater
the worth, the greater the price. You can't get diamonds for pennies. If you are not willing to pay the
price through hard work, you will not likely enjoy the priceless riches of a Christian home. I truly
hope these suggestions will be helpful to you. Do not expect total success over night, but through
persistent and patient labor, may God bless you to build a home that will bless your family and all
who enter it. May the Lord of our lives, Jesus Christ, be glorified in all your efforts.
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